Gua ma

Last Wednesday morning around 6:22,
received a call from my mom,
her voice was quiveringly, I can barely heard what she said about. I asked her to calm down, tell me what was happening, then she told me, my maternal grandma(I used to call her as "gua ma" means "wai po" in teo chew language) had passed away two hours before the called.

I completely stoned, and tears shedding down on my face, slowly, I burst into tears.

There are only a few memories between my gua ma and I that I can recall cause we don't see each other often, we meet only once in a while when my mom brought me to Gerik during my school holiday when I was small, or during the time when my baby sister was born in year 2002.

She was tough, in a good way. The last time I saw her was on January, this year chinese new year, she told me a lot of her stories when she was young, and many about my mom too. I've promised her to go back to visit her every holiday when I'm free, but I didn't achieve any of the promises.

Till three weeks ago, mom told me gua ma was having a really hard time, she fell in the toilet and got hurt, I think she started in the throe of death from that time cause her leg started to blet, her kidneys fail to function, etc etc, but her determination to live was very strong, she can held alive for more than 2 weeks since then, staying strong to see all her cucu dan cicit.

Then I was planning to visit her after the Langkawi trip, but I kept on finding excuses for not to do so cause I've been really lazy to go to Gerik all the way from Kampar.

I feel so guilty now, I don't even have the chance to see her before she died. I back to Gerik on last Thursday for her funeral, cried so bad when I see her last face, she was so tiny, sleeping peacefully in the coffin.

Rest in peace gua ma.
I'll miss you.

Year 1997, gua ma, me and sis in Thailand.